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When Mickael decided to clean under the bed – something I hadn’t done for, ahem, a while – he found a newspaper from 2002.‘There are bound to be problems when you finally move in together,’ says Marshall.

‘Especially if you’ve been waiting a long time and one of you has made sacrifices to be together – you want everything to be perfect, and that’s not possible.’This is something of which I am very aware: Mickael has given up his flat, his job, his friends and moved to a foreign country, just to be with me. You have to learn how to disagree without being disagreeable, and to resolve your arguments.

I didn’t want to go to meetings or make social plans without him.

I also found it hard not to feel uncomfortable, or irritated, when he made small changes in the flat – even silly things, such as using the wrong sponge for the washing-up or putting the plates away in the wrong place.

Mickael and I saw each other so rarely that, even after three years, we still had butterflies whenever we met. Every dinner we cooked for each other felt like a date, we could kiss for hours, and sex was always fresh and spontaneous because it wasn’t on offer regularly.

But when you move in together, this level of intensity is impossible to sustain; normal life gets in the way, and you soon fall into a routine.

Sex is less of a priority because there’s always tomorrow night.

Before he moved into my flat, I’d never spent more than a few consecutive weeks with Mickael.Moving in with your partner is always a big deal and requires compromise and the ability to adapt.But when you move in with a long-distance partner, you face still more and greater challenges.You can’t stay in the courting stage for ever.’Ah, yes, the lovely, protracted courtship stage: one of the few upsides of being in a long-distance relationship.When you live far from your partner, your relationship remains in the honeymoon period.




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They had met him before through some work functions and he had attended one of my dance performances earlier that year, but this was long ago, and now we were an item. I spoke to my mom the next day and she said my dad had pretty much gone off the deep end and I needed to let him cool down. I thought he would trust my judgment and know that since I’ve only dated a handful of people that this person was special to me and would make the effort. I had no appetite, no interest in going out, being with friends, and definitely neglected my boyfriend in pretty much every possible way. I cried and cried and cried ahead of time both by myself and with friends hoping to ensure that I wouldn’t have a complete meltdown in front of Aaron.


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